Patents for butt-kicking machines

[Jon]

Two separate patents awarded for butt-kicking machines. Interestingly, the dates on the patents are close enough that these are separately-patentable inventions. Perhaps the butt-kicking methods are sufficiently different to justify separate patents.

On the one hand, what a stupid invention. On the other, a clever idea to raise money for charity, just like a water dunking tank. I must wonder if, unlike a water dunking tank, these machines are both self-operated because of some unusual legal concern.

#1, by Joe W. Armstrong:

Original patent: https://www.google.com/patents/US6293874

An amusement apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control. The apparatus includes a platform foldable at a mid-section, having first post and second upstanding posts detachably mounted thereon. The first post is provided with a crank positioned at a height thereon which requires the user to bend forward toward the first post while grasping the crank with both hands, to prominently present his buttocks toward the second post. The second post is provided with a plurality of rotating arms detachably mounted thereon, with a central axis of the rotating arms positioned at a height generally level with the user's buttocks. The elongated arms are propelled by the user's movement of the crank, which is operatively connected by a drive train to the central axis of the rotating arms. As the user rotates the crank, the user's buttocks are paddled by flexible shoes located on each outboard end of the elongated arms to provide amusement to the user and viewers of the paddling. The amusement apparatus is foldable into a self-contained package for storage or shipping.

#2, by J. Reese Leavitt

The Manually Self-Operated Butt-Kicking Machine is in the form of a chair with a hole in the bench. The user sits on the bench with his posterior centered over the hole. A seatbelt holds the user in place. There is a kicking mechanism located below the hole, which has a boot attached to it. When the user or operator pulls the hand-operated lever, the boot kicks the users' posterior through the hole in the bench. The Butt kicker is very user friendly with the number of kicking repetitions, type of repetitions, speed of operation, amplitude or height of the kicking cycle, magnitude of the kicking force, and impact and energy of the kick all controlled by the user or operator. This invention is a new, novel, and unique machine with multiple uses, which range from amusement to fundraising and from motivation to discipline. The objectives of this invention are also many, including, but not limited to, teambuilding, self-therapy, to inspire creativity, and to be used as a model for future devices and works of art.

Original patent: https://www.google.com/patents/US20060094518

[mklotz]

I'm sure the market is big enough to support two companies, each based on a different patent.

[racer-john]

How can | put Justin Trudeau in one of these ? He must be restrained and someone else operates it.

[Al8236]

The first one looks like a reapply version of one I seen in an 1800's boys amusement book that I had as a kid. Perhaps the American Boys Handybook I'm not sure of that though, but I do remember seeing that in an old book some time back in either the 60's or 70's
Edit:
Had to go to the book shelf and find my Grandfathers copy of The American Boys Handy Book published in 1882, Wow forgot how un-political correct that book is by to-days standards. Not sure if that is a good thing or not!

[GeneH]

I think that all politicians should be subjected to either one of these, just to remind them of what they are supposed to do. Some time ago, I recall a news broadcaster saying that a politicians may concern is not to do good for the people the represent, but to get themselves re-elected. Maybe a half a dozen of strikes by either machine, this would remind them of what they were elected for.
To racer-john. You would not have to restrain him as long as you stuck a whole bunch of young smiling ladies behind him and gave him a camera, he would take all the selfies of himself. Just like his old man. GeneH

[racer-john]

You got that right, he is nothing but a smiling "selfie taker". He couldn't even make it as a drama teacher.