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Hair trimmer plus vacuum.
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Previously:
Cleaning a hair clipper - GIF
Hair blower vacuum cleaner - GIF
Manual hair clipper - GIF
Just get yourself a RoboCut. I've had mine for about 15 years and love the thing. 'Have less hair now, but it takes about 60 seconds to give myself a nice even haircut, and all the hair goes into the vac, no mess, no fuss (Took about 2 minutes in the pre-chemo days).
https://haircut.com
I've had my Flowbee for over thirty years, set up - cut - put it all away - takes less than ten minutes and does a great job.
Do your own math but if I cut my hair once a month I've saved roughly ten thousand bucks in haircuts let alone the time spent.
https://www.flowbee.com/shop/?orderby=price-desc
Haven't had a store bought hair cut since getting out of the Army nearly fifty years ago Just buzz it off 2 or 3 times a year same thing with my beard buzz it off with the hair trimmers every few months have worn out a few pairs of clippers but 20 to 30 bucks every 5 to 10 years. Impossible to say how much money I would have wasted in razor blades of in buying hair cuts like the vanity driven guys spend.
I buzz mine off every couple weeks. Been doing that for twenty years or so. Back when I paid for haircuts usually the girl that did my wife's hair would cut mine. The first time a new girl cut it she would spend about 20 minutes on it and do a great job. The next time it's 10 minutes and a good job. After that it's 5 minutes and not so great. And it's a lot of money over time. I used to be frugal and I had to do it myself at some point. I'm doing better financially now so I'm not such a cheapskate but I still do it myself.