Millennial anti-theft device

[Toolmaker51]

Oh dear friends; respecting Marv and Frank's unwillingness to allow the term 'brains' used here, I offer compromise.
Being ambulatory homo-sapiens capable of rudimentary reflexes alludes their cranial space contains a brain.
Clearly the lack is sufficient cognitive and logic wrinkles. One wrinkle worked overtime; getting them to chock the shop-vac carriage with a 8" tree limb...lol
Could same one plant idea how to sterilize the beer bong?
In some parts of the country, they're better at running pants around the ankles.