Once upon a time...

**jdurand** · Dec 28, 2019, 02:16 AM

Once upon a time there lived the vise family

Papa vise, mama vise, and baby vise.

Once upon a time...-4d192e08-0fce-4f6b-8417-b4effc3b0286.jpeg

Most of the time they just hung out together

But from time to time one of them would be put under stress

They held up to this lifestyle well, as if they were made for it

Papa vise even knew a trick, he could hold things at precise angles

He could even hold baby vise at an angle, in case Mt Mill had special needs today.

Sure, they weren't perfect like the Kurt family, but they still did their work when asked

Papa vise, being the oldest and most expensive does his job without fail.

Mama vise being younger and less expensive (never call her cheap!) Has a problem with her reach.

Baby vise is the youngest and cheapest. Baby had a bad joint that had to be replaced, the same as Papa. Sad for one so young.

Dr Lathe was happy to make the new joints for both of them, so everybody is now happy.

Mama is currently tied to her work so papa and baby are just keeping her company.

Tomorrow papa takes over for a while.

The end.

....

Another time I'll tell you the story of The Three Vise Men.

...

I have many vises, some are even tools.

**Toolmaker51** · Dec 29, 2019, 08:15 AM

So many issues, maybe certainly!
I burned up a tissue reading this, then got to The Three Vise Men, losing another. Is one screwless, therefore a eunuch?
TeeHee

**jdurand** · Dec 29, 2019, 10:40 AM

Once upon another time...

There were three vise men...

They came from the Far East where they had been reincarnated from a mix of retired tools.

After a long journey by ship they arrived in California to reside in the Silicon Gulch.

The biggest was nicknamed The Gripper because of his winning tendencies. He always got the job done.

The the middle one was called Grabby because, well, outlets should keep their distance.

The smallest one was Nipper, he couldn't hold a lot but after his joint surgery he could hold it securely.

For a long time these three men spent most of their time laying around, not being productive.

Then it happened, a directive came down from On High to prepare to cross the ocean once again.

In their new home they would have to learn a new language, full of strange and scary characters.

In trepidation they inquired what they would be called in their new land.

"три тиски мужчин" was the reply.

Grabby, started thrashing about and had to be restrained.

"Get a grip on yourself!" exclaimed The Gripper

Nipper just sat there with his mouth open staring at nothing in particular.

And so we leave our vises for now as we enter the new year and prepare to travel to new lands.

May we all hold onto what we value while grasping the reality of the situation, never forgetting that 1 inch equals 25.4 mm.

A vise in hand is worth two on the foot....sorry, 30,48 см.

**Toolmaker51** · Dec 30, 2019, 01:57 PM

Oh man, very clever.
I hope your new neighbors and Russia in general been warned properly.
Regardless, I doubt they are ready.

**jdurand** · Dec 30, 2019, 02:23 PM

This came out of a late-night chat with our Russian sponsor.

The neighbors to our south are friends of our sponsor, they will retire and move there in 2020.

Don't know who's to our north.

A bunch of the locals have already met us, we have students lined up for business, machine shop, english, and probably many long tales.