"Y'all ain't gonna believe this, but strange creatures from the sky did some kinda crazy mind thing and made me go to sleep before they teleported me up to their mothership! I don't remember much after that, but I woke up in some strange place far away with no clothes or nothin'. I'm sure there was some anal probing involved, too, but I was asleep at the time. Wait, Jeb...why you got that funny rhinoceros smile on your face? You didn't have anything to do with this, did you?"