Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[Toolmaker51]

Awful damn sure....
Not any document I've written contained 'Accounts Receivable', 'Payable', let alone references to holding other rubber stamp wielding occupations. So when a "HR Manager" initiates a conversation to fill such a position, my benevolent demeanor switches to All Hands: General Quarters!

Typical, Saturday 0941, new junk mail. Contacts redacted for sake of I'm not sure why, formatting reduced to acceptable size.
Stand By to Repel Boarders!

From: Kacper Xxx Xxxxx <xxxxx@uwo.ca>
Sent: Saturday, July 13, 2019 9:53 AM
To: 'AAL'
Cc: info@msn.com
Subject: RED
Can you handle this position account receivables agent for Lee Metal Group, its customers/client in Canada or USA.
Regards,
HR Manager


re: RED [lol it's FRED]

You, an HR Manager?
Really? Or just bought a graduate certificate from Dollar General, maybe .99¢ Store...?

My resume contains absolutely nothing that predicates such would be of interest. Feeble probes indicate skills limited to stealing contact information, definitely not screening viable candidates.
Certainly not effective interpretation of the sort of documents mentioned above.
[Toolmaker51]

There for quite awhile, I'd get propositions to proofread and multiply impact of my resume, with a $300+ fee of course. Always the same pitch, "Recruiters and HR professionals only give resumes attention a matter of seconds" before decision to retain or trash.
That suits me fine. Those who know what they are looking at have told me, it's the best resume they've ever read. No hype or wordiness, only details that can be confirmed. Liked visualizing putting 300 in the bank every time I heard that.