Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[Toolmaker51]

Some of the best movie scripts emulate classic authors. My favorite, Rudyard Kipling, for example The Man Who Would Be King.

Daniel Dravot lectures his Er-Heb recruits while Billy Fish translates....
Now listen to me, you benighted muckers! We're going to teach you soldiering, The world's noblest profession! When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your foes like civilized men! But first, you will have to learn to march in step. And do the manual of arms without even having to think! Good soldiers don't think, they just obey! Do you suppose that if a man thought twice, he'd give his life for Queen and Country? Not bloody likely! He wouldn't go near the battlefield! One look at your foolish faces tells me that you're going to be crack troops. Ohhh him there with the five-and-a-half hat size has the makings of a bloody hero!

Peachy Carnehan to Billy Fish, on Daniel's apparent invincibility....
Danny's only a man. But he can break wind at both ends simultaneous — which is more, I reckon, than any god can do!