Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[MeJasonT]

I incorrectly had the view as to why we call machines, ships etc "she" based on French having its language constructed on gender. Guess what, I was wrong again.
Some of the objects turned out to be male. The the origin of our language coming from Latin imposed upon us by Constantine and the catholic churches doctoring only to be written off by Henry VIII in his desire to rid himself and the England of Catholics with the language going back to Olde English ( basically a mix of local dialects, Paganism and common tongue).
Its as difficult for us to learn the European languages as it is for them to learn English.
(Before any Scots get offended, The Country as a whole was globally known as England long before the British isles became re branded as the United Kingdom. so i use the term English to encompass us all, as it is politically correct - same as i use the word man to indicate spices and not to be sexist so get back in your box Mary).

If you have ever converted English in to a foreign language in google and then translate it back you get the impression that the subject of your conversation has been lost somehow. Something on the grounds of I milked the cow where the term milked perhaps has another meaning or gets lost in translation resulting in you doing harm to the poor creature instead. made up but you get my point. Those DIY instructions for self build furniture from Chinese to English are an absolute classic. Translated from English to Chinese and then back to English how may levels or error can be imported into those instructions.

The internet has provided us with a wonderful opportunity to learn languages, i myself can now understand a few words of German, French and even Russian.
who would have thought that an old Doris Day film would become one of the first French words we would learn "Que Sera, Sera" most of us have known it all our lives. Whilst writing this last paragraph i discovered that google is anti French it allows you to type in french without correcting the capital letter how strange and disrespectful is that.

It would be in error if I did not mention my almost identical knowledge of American with that of my native tongue.
I have had many occasions where i have had to correct my international colleagues when they have stated the the English are lazy, why do we not learn other languages, what makes us so special. I correct them by stating the fact that they are forced to learn American not English, Thanks to the Internet and the Bill Gates foundation Inc ( or Micro-soft-in the head). In order to learn from the internet one has to connect to the content and as it was developed in the West (America and England the new non EU continent, hi brothers nice to be acquainted with you) The language of said content was American. If you invent the technology you are not going to use Spanish as the language if you don't speak it just because it and Mandarin are the most spoken languages in the world. The individuals who have made this incorrect assumption have been predominately French who insist the British are arrogant, Pot and kettle springs to mind.
You have many interesting local dialects in the US also need I mention Kentucky where such wonderful deep american saying are used perhaps occasionally mixed with a little hint of Africarns or perhaps even deeper to include some Dutch.

I recently heard a conversation on the radio by Stephen Fry (Actor) where he was asked about punctuation. He happens to be quite a philosopher when it comes to the English language. He mentioned how he gets sucked into pointless discussions about "Freds Fish Shop" and weather it should have a hyphen or not. He stated that he tries to avoid such friends and discussions where they try to involve him in policing language. He said that the world is a wonderful place where people of all backgrounds converse with language which sets us far apart from other spices and shows our true individual expression. He felt that all language should be embraced as its uniqueness was what made it so special.

He also mentioned how rigid the French Language is and how there is a political consensus of maintaining that standard.

I still have not found a suitable replacement for the verb " F*** " it to has gender, he does, it she does it Its f--- etc
to say that those using bad language are un educated is not entirely correct - look we use it as a verb and quite positively construct meaningful sentences from it, it even has gender. i have formed a very well rounded opinion of Scholars over the years and find most themselves to be the most uneducated, i also include managers and politicians in this category. Preferring straight talkers instead.

The humour of Monty Python is written on such play of words, it requires the listener to finish the conversation using their own imagination and is the main reason why other cultures don't share the humour as there life experiences are different to the British culture. A perfect example is "The Office" the guy is a hated stereo type in the UK narcissistic to the core and believes he is gods gift, I'm sorry but the guy they used in the US was simply lame in comparison. I don't know if you found him funny but on a British scale he would be signing on for benefits as a comedian.

i did have pleasure whilst working out in Tunisia to gift a friend of mine a DVD box set of "Father Ted" - which is a comedy based around priests and the church. I do suspect that I may have accidentally started the Muslim rising in Tunis.