Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[C-Bag]

While I was a wage slave I subscribed to all the above. But seeing as this is HomeMadeTools and I'm making stuff at home for me not "big boss man" my tune has changed. It now goes something like......

I, unwilling and unable to buy the too expensive, made by the unknowing Elsewhere, for the ungrateful who used to make it here, now make it out of cast offs that were too good to go in the landfill or shipped off to be recycled Elsewhere.

I am now able to make anything out of something because the creativity and ingenuity given to me by my elders and my fellow HMTers that can't be outsourced, only ignored or forgotten.

[Toolmaker51]

I Expanded my 'personal' library...yours too; and yours, all the guys over there, and the members of tomorrow!


Just found the "Digital Public Library of America', currently listing 13,997,962 individual reference documents. Now, you might want endless shelves of such material, I enjoy and value print too. But often they are difficult to identify correctly, find, or afford. This is not commercial in the sense of Cramamazon, or roundy-round searches via Ibay.

https://dp.la/

My first search consisted of the following. This is what an apprentice-newbie-fng learns, or ANY accomplished machinist thinks before about opening Machinists Handbook.
Despite what some consider 'glaring' errors, you'll be hard pressed to find info deeper on the overall subject of serious one-off machine work than these publications. From NAVEDTRA (dept of Naval Education & Training) branch of NAVPERS (dept of Naval Personnel) MACHINERY REPAIRMAN 3&2 10530-E1 and MACHINERY REPAIRMAN 1&C 110531-B. The 3/2/1/C are enlisted paygrades of USN petty officers, so 3&2 are entry level. There are illustrations, charts, graphs Another poster on another site stated MR's not 'machinists' in the true sense. The reaction there was emphatic and proceeded with illustrating why they are; and like workers anywhere, show different levels of expertise. But the equipment, tooling, materials, and materials available, make most any of us drool.
1.]They open pdf. and printable - I'd suggest transporting file via USB thumbdrive to whatever version you have of a office supply or printshop.
2.]The cost of two-sided and collated print will be more than worthwhile; if saved in a proper binder or actually having it bound. 3.]Opt for paper heavier than standard 20lb printer-copy paper, to withstand hours of perusal, thumbing and certainty of dogeared corners.

And Jon; if you see this I'm campaigning; a forum section at HMT as a reference library. Not texts - accurate descriptions and links we find. I invite thanks as an endorsement, sort of a vote for who thinks this worthwhile.

[MeJasonT]

I like the modern saying of think outside the box. Its total stupidity and brainless in my view, I'll explain.
I'm not allowed to be an Engineer as I don't have a degree so perhaps a little jealous but when I hear the box statement being made I can only think of two things. Firstly those outside the thinking/design process are normal everyday people in the outside world not the highly educated boffins who design inside the box. secondly the only people I hear making this remark are those incapable of even finding the box let alone having a thought sat at its periphery. If the box were an arse they would find it difficult to locate it with both hands.
If I work the land I'm a farmer, if i work for 25 years in engineering i'm a technician (like a bin man - refuse technician or nail salon nail technician). Surely if you work in engineering you could argue your an Engineer.

Reminds me of the famous quote made by Mario.
All of my life I builder the bridges, only once I maker love to the sheep, so they call me - Mario the master bridge builder. No!

I read an article on the engineer magazine website last week stating that the days of a lonely creative inventor working from his shed and inventing the next great thing was dead and that most of these inventions amounted to nothing anyways. The author claimed that the best ideas and technology came from corporate design departments which possessed all the skills under one roof. Don't make me laugh, iv'e seen some horrendous ideas come out of such places and simple stupid mistakes, as an apprentice I was often chastised for pointing out the obvious. he must have forgotten that Einstein and numerous other inventors worked at home in their sheds.

FrankS 's quote is what inspired me to reply and sums up just what the present population think of hardworking inventive people. The day I end up behind a desk with a pen, I will stick it in my eye. I was thinking more harry-carry but perhaps stupidity as I will be qualified to do such things by then.

[Frank S]

in 78 I was working at a company that built foundation drilling rigs. We were gearing up to come out with a new model. It was my job to fit up the frames with fixtures bolted in them to hold them true to dimensions then send them off to be welded out. The floor of the shop sloped 4 feet in 150 ft but right where my tabls was positioned it made dippy doodles uneven in all directions. the guy before me had it blocked up with what ever scrap he could find and it was forever getting jostled out of level. So 1 Saturday I conned the foreman into helping me get the table ready for the new frames that I had to first figure out how to get it dimensionally true then build the removable fixtures and make any adjustments to the layout design to get all of the parts to fit or cut them to fit and make notes on the prints.
I started out leveling the table by taking a fork lift and hauling it to the scrap pile. Jack asked me what I was doing so I told him I was going to make my table level. by shooting 4 1" thick 12by12 plates to the floor with 3/4" 5" long anchor bolts in each. then we used 2" all thread for the jack screws to level it then laid 14" 4 ft long
H beams across then 3 14" 12 ft long H beams lengthwise then we used a 6 ft by 14 ft sheet of 1 1/2" plate steel for the table top. wiht everything square and level I welded it all together.
Monday morning the big boss and 1 of the drafts men came down to my area to show me the latest revisions to the Prints.
The first thing out of the bosses mouth was who told you, you could change out your table
I just bowed up and said I did, You want to make these new frames and I have to make one perfect before the fixtures can be made and the piece of crap 1/2 plate table that was here was worthless. if you don't like it then bill me for it and when I leave here I will take it with me.
He busted out laughing then said I was wondering how long you were going to put up with the old table. The next day when I got to work I noticed that someone had , had the machinist bring the magnetic Bridgeport milling head and had milled the top flat from end to end side to side. Best fit up table I ever worked off of except for the 10 ton acorn platen table I worked off of at another plant

[PJs]

Good story Frank, and on a similar note to yours and what Tuomas was talking about....

In the late 90's I designed and built the 70' AMCA certified wind tunnel for the company at the time. It was powered by a 36kCFM fan and was 7' square with a man door into the main chamber for access to the air straighteners. The issue was the boss wanted to only build 2 sides and a top and let the weight of it rest on the floor for a seal. I designed the panels to be 10 gauge "C" channels as there would be times we would block off 3 of the 4 straighteners and run it full goose and to keep it from oil canning plus make it more modular in build and flexibility in length if need be. Once we got the fan mounted on its own isolation pad and the inlet plenum built I kept eyeballing the floor in this building. I had never liked the idea of this much pressure sitting on the floor and kept having this niggling feeling about this whole idea of floating this on the floor which I knew was not even close to straight in any direction. As I had 13 other balls in the air at the time I hadn't really gone through the all the calcs other than the weight "Should" be enough to keep it down plus I knew the door was going to be tricky to keep sealed on the high pressure side. Went back to the boss several times to argue the points about it but he was adamant about Get it Done as is. As he had fired 2 others prior to me for Not getting it Done, I decided to do an end run.

I only had 1 tech assistant on that project and got him to round up enough straight 2x4's, as straight as he could find, in shorter lengths ~8-10' so we could build a frame around the area where the wind tunnel would set. Then proceeded to lay out a grid of string over the top on about 6" square and measure the depths at every point and recorded them. I knew it was bad because of the huge gaps we had to truss up when we built the frame. Then dumped all the numbers into Excel and created a topo map that blew my mind. Plotted it out on D size paper, rolled it up and put it on the bosses desk when he wasn't there. A couple of hours later he came into my office with kind of a sheepish grin and said, well what are you going to do about it? I looked him in the eye and said, Well if you want me to do this and get it "Certified" (similar to getting a UL/CE, in price too), I would grind the floor as best I could then re-seal it and then seal the bottom with something like this (showed him what I had already worked out) and bolt it to the floor...and all this will take about this long. But I will no longer be rushed to fail and be fired like you did my 2 predecessors...Your Choice...Oh and I would like you to task the AE manager to finish specking out and designing the control system as my other 13 balls are wearing at me right now. Then I just sat there with my own sheepish grin waiting for him to make up his mind. As you all know I can be a bit prickly at times and was probably a bit then with some matter of fact thrown in for good measure...although it was his bus and I got that. There was a bit of fire in his eyes for about 4 seconds then, grinned big and laughed out loud and said, Well get on it.

The rest of that project went pretty smooth after that and had a big sigh of relief when the AMCA guy came to finish the certification and had real nice things to say to me about the design, particularly the SP sensors I designed for it, which he thought they might include some aspects of it in their future specs. On the fun side, the Tech I was working with was getting his sky diving certs and had been to one of those big fan, floating practice places and ask if I thought the WT had enough giddyup to do that. When we got to the far end of the build we blocked off ~2/3's of the end and he held onto the lip as I cranked the thing slowly up to full tilt, Testing of Course. Basically it would hold him off the ground a bit and could bounce to horizontal but not stay there...wish now I could have choked it down some more for him as he was a fine young man and a good tech...the grin on his face was worth the Grind...pun intended...messy business, grinding concrete in an enclosed area.

BTW the door worked smooth as glass and was built like a Power Wagon.

PJ

[Frank S]

I have formulated the theory that the only difference between retirement and indentured servitude depends on whether or not you are married. secondly whether or not you have a land or a property to keep up.
I have a friend who, like me is retired my wife calls it retarded I'm not going to enter into a debate over that one.
My friend is single has been so all of his life and believe it or not never learned to cook but that too is another topic. He rents a small mouse in a medium sized town not large enough to be classed as a small city He drove over the road for 40 years until he felt that it was time to pass the gear shift on to a younger generation. He doesn't hunt, doesn't even own a gun not that he is against it he just never had a place to keep one while out on the road. He doesn't fish says he can't swim and won't get in water over ankle deep, maybe a story there about aqua-phobia but I think he is more talk than anything else. the only thing he has to do around his house is to watch the grass grow or try to coach a pecan tree out of the ground. He is not a carpenter by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I taught him how to weld a little about 20 years ago. but there is a huge difference in being able to weld and being able to fabricate something from nothing more than an idea so if he happens to think of something he would like I usually have to build it for him. even though he had his own welding machines plural. After being retired for a few years ha has found himself at a loss watching grass grow or waiting for a pecan to sprout had in his words driven him bonkers. SO he has gone back to driving this time not as an over the road long haul trucker but a passenger van delivering Railroad crews. Not all that much money but at first he said the time on the road was a therapy for him. Now after a few months the lure of the highway is waning which means he is getting tired of it but his prospects of doing nothing again does not sit well for him.
I have told him that what he should do is to is to figure out what it is he would like to do more than anything else then pursue that thought. I know he likes to do light mechanic work and is not all that bad of a mechanic if he really wants to He has a 5000 lb tool chest chock full of most any hand tool or impact wrench he could ever need But busting wrenches again is not something he says he wants to start doing. OK I said you said that you used to work part time in a wood turning shop you like running a wood lathe do that.
Well I don't have a shop to work out of and it would take a long time to build one.
Any suggestion that I came up with,He would have a counter as to the reason, my thinking of it as an excuse why not tot so this or do that.
So he asked me why my retirement seemed that I was always too busy to get everything done.
that's easy I said I'm married which by virtue of a single document makes me an indentured servant even if I wasn't married I would still be a slave to something.the animals that need watered and fed every day the place always has something that needs mending or cleaned up or mowed fences to repair because of neighbors live stock or the old house can always use more attention than I have the time tend to it. or there is my shop that I am wanting to get built so I don't have to do my work under a tent or out of a trailer,
I told him I retired from the established work force only to become so busy that today I cannot for the life of me figure out how I ever had time for a job
Just when I get started in one project and really want tot concentrate on its completion something will interrupt me Like you've been standing on that ladder long enough it is time to take a break. Or the lawnmower wont start come start it for me, or we might need bread in a couple of days so we need ot go to town.
For the past week I have been rebuilding an add on room on the back of the house that I tore down to the studs 3 years ago to get rid of mold that had been there when we got the place It has taken this long to get back to working on it I now have it dried in with the siding back on and the roof in felt the door has been relocated and 2 3 ft by 6 ft windows installed on their sides giving me a 12 ft long window should have been at worst a 2 or possibly 3 day job to do a 12 by 16 room but I still have the trim the soffit and fascia to put on then insulate the inside and either drywall it or sheet it with something else plus the lighting.
The only thing is now that it is dried in it may be another 2 years before I finish it

[Toolmaker51]

Ok, a bit too intricate to be descriptive, brief and accurate. Fun part's easy. 3 characters "Who" and names changed to protect a brace of morons. 'Moron', charitable phrase that. Henceforth, ID'ed as (dufus) d1 and d2. Forget the brief part, efficiency kills fun. Short story anyway, compared to War and Peace.

Set Up
Day 1 last Wed. Over time, d2 frequently mentions "25 years in production". Checking LinkedIn, there is a short USMC commission and production turns out to be printing industry. Not offset like circulars, cartography or even texts. Checkbooks. Oh yeah that relates, dovetails right into metal fab. Most initiatives turn out to be theorizing, weak attempts to apply single station and closed cell work to multi-process manufacturing.
Now it's 2:30 and clocked out. d2 is assisting press brake operator. His sale of fairing sheets is late. They are 16ga galvanized, 109" wide 70" something deep, no way 1 man job. Interesting part, one end angles 30 degrees from other, but not a simple crease. A 12" radius, needs like 50 fractional step bends. The inspector, Mr. Who stops by off the clock, but to support the brake operator, a good kid. They are having trouble, middle is buckled; bet extreme ends of ram are hitting before the middle. After signal to brake-op "I won't buy (sign off) these." d2 says "...we're having trouble." Magic 9 items need to ship, swear that .75 hour is quote for ALL 9, after 1/2 hour setup. Started in the morning and now 8 hours in. They frequently video the brake-op, surprisingly no camera and tripod in sight for this. Who fires 16" Naval battery. "Told ya, this looks easy from a swivel chair, watching youtube." Direct hit, d2 is shocked, can't respond with anything but 'you knucklehead 25 years yaddy yaddy ya.' Who chuckles and returns "25? what percentage is that compared to the total out here?...got 26 driving you jarheads around AND 40 years producing, not watching." Who departs without any evasive maneuver.

Heat's ON
Day 2, Thursday. HOT job. Co. sells bundle of weldments, 1.75 od cold rolled 37" long w/ a forged double pin clevis each end. Rods weren't chamfered night before, to run next morn. Guess Who got that deal. Rumor has it he's Inspector and mystery machinist. Nuthin beats switching 12'' chuck to 3 jaw by hand, mount steady rest cuz bar's bigger than spindle bore. No clue, fairly kickazz 60's era Okuma D1-6 spindle isn't 2 1/16 id. Anyhoo#1, Guess Who guy loads 58 bars, cranking the compound, flipping to other end and filling a pallet. Robot operator grabs a couple, fires up and he's off to the races. They're 25#, handled 3x is 4350. Runs bulk of order, we clock out, 2nd comes in.

Enfilade & Defilade
Day 3, Friday. 1st comes in 0600, job's incomplete. Shut down for porosity on 2nd's start up (oh sure - ran fine all day). 9 bad parts. We never run out of gas, silo sized vessel outside. Cracked nozzle supposedly (likely the prevalent & cracked supv.) So, intrepid G. Who gets his fav'rit flash ''...you need to cut off welds re-chamfer bars AND reshape spud of said clevises, all 18 of course. "How long's it gonna take". "Dunno, only heard of it 35 seconds ago" "Well get them done fast as possible" "No" "This isn't a race, it's to save a salesman (dufus2) and he isn't going to make a hospital visit, this ain't kid stuff". Way unappreciative glare from dufus1.

D-Day
Of course G. Who knew. They (Co.) shy away from setup parts, 'specially when customer supplied materials are used. He split a few last run awhile back, recovering all destined to be scrapped out. Drawer of tool box has many accommodations, no one else can tell what they are. Snarling glance dufus1 grabs one clevis to give it a try. Oh, he'll show me, er G. Who. Despite all the 5s initiatives, 80 grit belts for the big sanders aren't replaced until last one burns up. 5s apparently means swearing, usually the colloquial term for feces, that many times. d1 goes at it, dinky right angle pneumatic in one hand, clevis in da utter. Like a weak 4th of July, way less spectators. d1 stops, clamps forging in his metal forming brake. His go-to repair site, that and fat deadblow hammer; zero talent past that. Knowledgeable set knows it as a Wilton Bullet vise. A veritable sculptor, he carves toward the spud with all the might 1/4" HF pneumatic RA can muster. The spud tapers from maybe an inch to 5/8'' or so and quite short, a well hidden nipple under mile of MIG wire. The bar, weld and cover passes near 2'' od. Audience is dufus2; hands in pockets, leaning forward oddly, intent behind 'cool' safety glasses, jeans, red poly-knit shirt, diagonal stripe on left sleeve. Grinding feverishly and trading off, they'll be awhile. Too dirty for ROFLOL, Who-man makes intermittent observations, appraising the competition, for plenty oneupmanship ammo.

Operation Flank and T-Bone
Meanwhile, Mr. Who spins last 2 bars. Swaps out 3 to 4 jaw, pulls steady rest, backs tailstock far as it goes and rolls up sleeves. Cue up something like a loping radial aircraft engine. Or 4, 113 inch HD's and a BSA 441. Anyhoo #2. He's got 2 pads that bridge gap of clevis arms and a little jackscrew inside. No indicator, just circular scored lines on chuck face; he's got the nerve and he's got the touch. Love that line, no clue on origin. Open those imaginary throttles. The setup is RIGID, goes 735 rpm, next step is 1200 something, inappropriate for this can't handfeed quick or deep enough to pass workhardening. Big negative triangular insert eats up crap weld fine, right near original form. He pulls the part and strolls toward robot station to verify Ok or better. Ahead of d1 by 5 feet, holding his out like a champagne toast - hot champagne at that. G. Who, eveready to convert defense to offense asks polite-like and impossibly straightfaced "First one?".
Evidently practice pays, now the glare is b-grade horror movie quality.
Most abruptly, sanding comes to a grinding halt. "Just get em done". d1 and d2 stomp off, with pinhole burns in shirts.
Returning to lathe Who starts in on remaining 16. Part way through, d2 hies in for another " how soon?". wtf its barely 10am. Who gets off more 2 rounds. "...faster than you'll figure out how to do this" and "too bad about the shirt dude, whats the racing stripe for?" a curt "...only decoration." Instantaneously and between the eyes "Good, lets time how fast you go away." Who is energized to say the least, heat of competition as it were.


Deguello
Now it's 11; still doing in-process inspections as they come along, back & forth from lathe to surface plate. Who finishes during lunch, plotting next sortie all along. But now, Who knows the cell numbers to d1 and d2. Texts out "Done. Avg less than 5 minutes part to part. Pay attention to your elders. You owe me lunch and and apology."
Who learns later d2 goes to welder asking "what's this is all about?" Welder really has NO interest in d2's number, and so states. They don't get along either. That is related to Who, and he texts out "Only one here with a Los Angeles area code, your fav'rit knucklehead, why blame [welder]".
Finally, Who logs in to job tracking, claims 9 bars, and 17 clevi. Comments section records permanently. "Saw cut weldments, 18 ends. Chamfer bars, both ends. Recut 17 clevis forgings. Someone thought hand grinding would beat 10 HP lathe and me."

Debrief
Believe it, me doing the Alpha-Hotel bit is not normal. AH's are amateurish, baseless, and without sufficient where-with-all to convince experienced persons of their false sincerity. After years seeing work dissolve into near servitude, where administrators think term papers equate work experience, and offsite corporate decisions solve everything, I bucked. Somehow, sometime, and thankfully individuality fell on me and it has a degree of self-preservation. They have little self-assurance, outside a canned title.
Be Right. Stay out of the corner, raise voice but don't yell, mild indirect swearing and use their ineptness to advantage. Never been terminated in any manner, genuine or created, or even on the carpet. It would be interesting to present facts against those abrasive and inflated egos to a third party. Somehow it never comes to that, despite veiled threats. The loudest and loutish are the trolls, without tangible means to establish themselves.

[PJs]

As an amateur philologist TM51, I find this reminding me of the "Allegory of Piers Plowman" which I read again recently. So many similes in the function of the allegory, I had to giggle out loud in filial philology to your fine naming conventions and style. I am however a bit confused as to whether you mean Bugle Call or throat slitting with the term "Deguello"...or both?

I also enjoy learning hysteria (History) and IIRC the "Peasant Wars" started just after Langland's publishing of his landmark works. Did D1, D2 and Guess Who, just pick themselves up and continue to muddle on or did a war break out?

Funny how tragedy is usually comical! ~PJ

FYI
Passus 4

"Whoso wilneth hire to wyve, For welthe of hire goodes--
But he be knowe for a cokewold, kut of my nose!'
Mede mornede tho, and made hevy chere,
For the mooste commune of that court called hire an hore.
Ac a sisour and a somonour sued hire faste,
And a sherreves clerk bisherewed al the route:
" For ofte have I,' quod he, 'holpen yow at the barre,
And yet yeve ye me nevere the worth of a risshe!'
The Kyng callede Conseience and afterward Reson,
And recordede that Reson hadde rightfully shewed ;
And modiliche upon Mede with myght the Kyng loked,
And gan wexe wroth with Lawe, for Mede almoost hadde shent it,
And seide, -Thorugh youre lawe, as I leve, I lese manye chetes;
Mede overmaistreth Lawe and muche truthe letteth.
Ac Reson shal rekene with yow, if I regne any while, -
And deme yow, bi this day, as ye han deserved.
Mede shal noght maynprise yow, by the Marie of hevene!
I wole have leaute in lawe, and lete be al youre jangling,
And as moost folk witnesseth wel, Wrong shal be demed.'
Quod Conscience to the Kyng, 'But the commune wole assente,-
It is ful hard, by myn heed, herto to brynge it,
[And] alle youre lige leodes to lede thus evene.'
"By Hym that raughte on the Rood!' quod Reson to the Kynge,
But if I rule thus youre reaume, rende out my guttes--
If ye bidden buxomnesse be of myn assent.'
"And I assente,' seith the Kyng, " by Seinte Marie my lady,
Be my Counseil comen of clerkes and of erles.
Ac redily, Reson, thow shalt noght ride hennes;
For as longe as I lyve, lete thee I nelle.'
'I am al redy.' quod Reson, "to reste with yow evere;
So Conscience be of oure counceil, I kepe no bettre.'
"And I graunte,' quod the Kyng, "Goddes forbode he faile!
Als longe as oure lyf lasteth, lyve we togideres!'

[Toolmaker51]

Did D1, D2 and Guess Who, just pick themselves up and continue to muddle on or did a war break out?
Funny how tragedy is usually comical!
In this case, tragedy is how certain ridiculous persons keep themselves employed. d2, Mr. 25 years has not uttered word, nor cast sidewards glance since. Kind of "I tried to catch my eye, but looked the other way."
How 25 yrs qualifies as an argument escapes me; not seeking expertise of others part of that, continually; we'd be but a self proclaimed expert. Invalid, self absorbed, and not even well-rounded.
d1, my 'manager' who has but a single person who reports to him, also is stand-off-ish, thankfully. He smokes outside but wants to hover, looking over my shoulder offering 'tips' & 101 level recommendations. A Quality manager does not know sine bars? Worst sort of desk jockey; he tours vendors and suppliers occasionally and keeps a trip record, logically kept in vehicle and covered clipboard. Then, instead of scanning that, he retypes (barely past hunt-peck rate) digital version, saves and pastes into email for reimbursement. But can't envision providing a laptop - I use my own - to record inspection measurements. I write excel's with speech to text, quite nifty. 1.001 diameter enter- length 2.531 enter - thread pitch 16 enter then id the features on a drawing numerically. Very best when head is inside comparator curtain operating axis controls, avoids readjusting eyes light to dark. Just cuz I'm old doesn't mean stuck in 'my' ways. 63 and look younger than most there.

[Toolmaker51]

Well Deguello connotes a serious outcome. "No quarter" is sufficiently graphic. Santa Ana marched on The Alamo to it.
But on the other hand, it's the name to a ZZ Top album too...