Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[Toolmaker51]

Contractors make things so difficult, like keeping schedules, sticking to job quotes. . .DIY is the way to go.

[Frank S]

Contractors make things so difficult, like keeping schedules, sticking to job quotes. . .DIY is the way to go.

Well that was 9 minutes of entertainment. Oh you actually thought I would sit through an obvious spoof in regular time

[MeJasonT]

OK bit late in the conversation but with reference to #245 from Toolmaker51 on the Dirty Jobs dude.
In the clip he made a comment regarding Safety First.
I had a very nasty experience the other day which left me reeling with anger and spite for the HSE.
I was putting on a pair of work gloves and got a metal spelk in my hand from the inside of the glove, had i decided not to wear safety gear i would not have injured myself. Thanks to the clip i have now decided to study the wisdom of Aristotle and Plato etc. Safety third makes a lot of sense to me.

Cholchester Lathe clip.
chap casting lathe parts with molten metal - No gloves

[Toolmaker51]

MeJasonT, we conversed frequently, being clearly of like mind. I doubt Mike Rowe's show aired in Europe; but he is all over youtube. He can expound virtue of industry just as quickly jump into muck; and respect those equally. There's really nothing like him. His background is so varied, he can seemingly present facets of 100's of topics without notice. Sure, televised material is edited, but he does the same thing live.
Best thing about Mr. Rowe, is what we do not like; he won't participate in presidential elections. What a shame. THAT would be a candidate.

My guess on 'spelk' was off. I like to investigate terms, this being HMT.net we [in the middle] are bombarded on 4 sides by all kinds of language, sayings and dialect. I enjoy it guys, keep it coming! This time a webpage detailed the change in English across Britain. quick paste of result;
Shiver – Once common in Norfolk and Lincolnshire but now replaced with splinter

Sliver – Used in Sussex, Cambridgeshire and Kent but now replaced with splinter

Speel – A regional word used for splinter found Lancashire and Carlisle but now no longer used

Spell – The middle English for splinter, it was still being used across the North of England in the 1950s but has now vanished

Spile – Used instead of splinter in Blackburn and Bolton but now replaced

Spill – Seen in just a few places on the welsh border in the 1950s but now totally vanished

Spool – Used by people in Huddersfield in the 1950s but now replaced by spliter

[MeJasonT]

are bombarded on 4 sides by all kinds of language, sayings and dialect. I enjoy it guys, keep it coming! This time a webpage detailed the change in English across Britain. quick paste of result;

I'm impressed with your interest and dedication.
I read with interest the web finds especially the Carlisle one (some 4 miles from my house).
I cant believe spelk is non existent, my partner is from Liverpool (Lancashire) and she uses the word spelk.
Interestingly Speel is to spin a yarn or ditty (talk crap basically) and spool is a bobbin used in mills for fabric production again Lancashire, Yorkshire, Derby and generally the midlands of UK where the Victorian factories made cotton fabric etc. Spell is one i've heard but not used very much - we call little pieces of sea glass found on a beach spells which has two sources a word used by persons in Derby perhaps for a splinter and connotations of witchcraft - The origin being the friend from Derby we were beach combing with when we decided to adopt her word for sea glass. Sea glass being the very small smooth washed pieces of coloured glass found between the high and low water (tide) marks.
I have come across a few weird sayings in my time involving local dialects. One guy came out with (tin tin tin) as in - It ain't in the tin cant remember the origin off hand, think it was welsh? we have a saying in Cumbria "warrist" for what is it. Like you dialects fascinate me however I have so much other stuff to learn and make its not very high on my list of things to do. We have had Mike Rowe's programs televised over here and the man is a genius, our free view television service has at least 5 US channels transmitting so thankfully we do get to watch some good tv occasionally instead of BBC period dramas (period being the the perfect word to describe some of it - or menstruation if you wish to use a non local dialect slang description). Otherwise known as watching paint dry.
I watched one of Mike's shows where he went into a sewer filtration system to unblock some pumps, it handled all the sewerage for one of your major cities. The item he removed if i remember was the skull of a horse. all this diving 20+ feet fully kitted as a diver in zero vis. Those guys deserve their money, in fact probably more.

We are getting a TV series starting on Tuesday regarding the factories that built the war. I think the first one is of a factory that built US bombers - i get the impression it will make a lot of reference to Henry Fords production lines/methods. The line on the advert was that a plane left the production line every 3 hours? Not watched it yet so trusting my old grey matter hard drive to remember the advert - um challenging.

[Toolmaker51]

or expose the whole mess!

as seen by Todd Snider/ Jenni Finlay

Statistician's Blues

They say 3 percent of the people use 5 to 6 percent of their brain
97 percent use 3 percent and the rest goes down the drain
I'll never know which one I am but I'll bet you my last dime
99 percent think we're 3 percent 100 percent of the time.

64 percent of all the world's statistics are made up right there on the spot
82.4 percent of people believe 'em whether they're accurate statistics or not
I don't know what you believe but I do know there's no doubt
I need another double shot of something 90 proof, I got too much to think about.

Too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about.

They say 92 percent of everything you learned in school was just ******** you'll never need
84 percent of everything you got you bought to satisfy your greed
Because 90 percent of the world's population links possessions to success
Even though 80 percent of the wealthiest 1 percent of the population drinks to an alarming excess
More money, more stress.

It's too much to think about
Too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about, pick it now.

84 percent of all statisticians truly hate their jobs
They say the average bank robber lives within say about 20 miles of the bank that he robs
There's this little bank not far from here I've been watching now a while
Lately all I can think abouts how bad I wanna go out in style.

And it's too much to think about
It's too much to figure out
Stuck between hope and doubt
It's too much to think about, that's right
It's too much to think about, amen
It's too much to think about, mm-mm.


[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/todd-snider/near-truths-and-hotel-rooms/statisticians-blues.html]

[Frank S]

Many years ago or I should say more than half a dozen decades ago I began a trek what this trek was or where it might carry me I had no awareness. I wasn't even aware of being on a trek. For years I have told the story of my starting out in the world of labor as a humble beginnings at a blacksmith shop at the tender age of 11. However through the passage of time I realize I actually started much younger than that. Nearly a decade younger as difficult as one's comprehension of a boy as young as 1 or 2 years of age actually being the beginning of their life long career. However this is actually true at least I believe it to be true. That one can be set on a path which would be the path they follow throughout their lives.
These are by no means my own memories that I am about to share but the telling's of my parents and friends of theirs who knew them when I was still in nappies.
You see my mother worked my Grandfather worked my grandmother kept house both theirs and the houses of others. Obviously my dad worked as well. and it was he who took care of me during the day while at his job much of the time since my mother could not care for me at her job far too dangerous to have a baby crawling around at a drycleaners with the chemicals and live steam presses everywhere.
Now you might ask what kind of job my dad had that allowed him to care for an infant Well he was a mechanic not the movie portrayal of a mechanic like Charles Bronson or Jathan Stathan though being a retired gunny sgt he certainly could have qualified as one had he chose to. No he was an automobile and truck mechanic, and what he would do was to make a pallet of an old wool blanket on the floor for me then give me items like carburetors distributors and tools to play with. I am told and I believe a still living Aunt of mine has a few pictures of me playing with my toys. This lasted for several well maybe not several but a few years. I do think that I remember my dad tossing a guy out of his shop because he had drug me off of the blanket or maybe I was old enough at the time by then that I had wandered off the blanket to get some tool that a guy had picked up from it I was probably around 3 ish I guess by then. I'm sure I pretty much had the run of the place but was always told to stay on the blanket to play with the toys OK most of you guys had children's toys to play with mine were car or engine parts and tools.
Skip forward a couple years And this I do remember. Why do I remember it because it was my first visit to a dentist I had knocked a tooth out and my mouth was bleeding So pop had to carry me to see the big guy wearing a white jacket. while sitting in the chair I was staring at a picture on his wall of an airplane and a man in uniform standing by it.
That's my son and that is the plane that he fly's he said.
Oh I said. I bet I can make one of those. Mind you I'm not yet 5 years old, The dentist just laughed and said that I have to see. I went to the mechanics shop once in a while with my dad and there is no pallet any more but a table and chair for me to work on the carburetors only now I'm taking them apart and putting them back together obviously not the ones pop is going to be re installing on a car. The next day at the shop I grab a pair of snips and some card board and some wire and nails I sat down and cut out what I thought the shape of the DC3 in the picture looked like then bent the cardboard into a cylindrical shape made wings rolled some cardboard to look like the engines wired everything together. By the time my stitches were due to come out I carried that plane with me..
Skip forward 20 odd years After leaving the Army I take the wife and kids on a trip down memory avenue we drive to Austin I show her and my girls the hospital where I am told I was born. my oldest had one of those little Kodak 110 cameras and was snapping away taking pictures of the sights and the capital I told her she should save some of her film because there might be something she really wanted to get a picture of but what to 6 year olds know? Today with the cameras in every phone that can hold a zillion pictures that wouldn't be a problem LOl
anyway we drive by a dentistry. I wonder if that is the same place where I had to go as a kid I asked so on a whim I decided to stop and inquire sure enough it was and there on a wall was a picture of the cardboard plane next to the guy picture in the plane. I asked one of the nurses if the model still existed.
No she said at least she didn't think it did.
My oldest daughter is furious because she had just ran out of film and didn't have another roll.
Skip forward a few more years I am designing and building a drilling rig while working for a guy he breaks off a bolt on his motorcycle and starts to drill it out I tell him that I can get it out without risking damage to the threads. SO I grab a stinger and a nut then weld the nut to the bolt and remove it. Where did you learn that trick?
at the blacksmith shop I used to work at as a kid about 15 years ago I told him.
Skip forward a few more years I perfected the art of removing broken bolts broke off deep down in the holes while working on cat equipment. I say perfected I must have removed close to a 1000 bolts like that over the years but sometimes I would mount an assembly in a mill and mill out the bolts leaving only the Dutchman (just the threads)
The day before yesterday my neighbor calls me up before I have finished my first cup of morning coffee.
Frank my brother can you help me out?
I don't know you haven't told me what it is yet.
I've been 2 days trying to get this bolt out of a hydraulic pump. I've managed to weld out 3 of them with the stud puller rod but 1 I can't get.
I'll be over in a couple minutes.
Coffee cup in hand I show up at his place a mile away. Yeah I think I can salvage it for you but you have already done a lot of damage to the housing at least you haven't gotten into the o ring seat though so it will still be OK.
His customer is standing there and as we really need this thing as soon as possible if it can be fixed I'm the one who drilled and ground into the housing Billy took out the other 3 bolts for me.
Ok so you are the bad guy here I said.
Yeah and we can't get a new pump for a couple of weeks.
I bring the pump back to my place and set up my mill they have already do so much damage I didn't dare try and weld out the bolt my mill is just tall enough to get the pump under an end mill and only that because I had one that I bought at auction that had been sharpened a few times.
Anyway I get it repaired around dark Billy and he show up early the next morning to pick it up.
then lo and behold Billy calls me again this morning the same guy who I found out is a mechanic for a company has something else with broken bolts in it .
What are they doing with their equipment I asked using them for battering rams Billy just laughs and says I'm not even going to try to get these bolts out Mike has already drilled them and broken off an ezeout and I have to be somewhere else can you or will you take a look at it for him. Yeah tell him to bring it by I'll see what I can do.
2 hours later the bolts are out and Mike is happy I hope next week is not a repeat.

[Toolmaker51]

Work or play, nearly the same for me.
Right now though, I'm trying to branch out.
Ordered a stretcher-shrinker.
Arrived today.
Turns out, not being a marital aid. . .

[Frank S]

Work or play, nearly the same for me.
Right now though, I'm trying to branch out.
Ordered a stretcher-shrinker.
Arrived today.
Turns out, not being a marital aid. . .

I suppose one could be used in that fashion but you and the receiving person would have to be heavily into the BDSM scene.
might me more of a divorce aid than marital though

[Toolmaker51]

Awful damn sure....
Not any document I've written contained 'Accounts Receivable', 'Payable', let alone references to holding other rubber stamp wielding occupations. So when a "HR Manager" initiates a conversation to fill such a position, my benevolent demeanor switches to All Hands: General Quarters!

Typical, Saturday 0941, new junk mail. Contacts redacted for sake of I'm not sure why, formatting reduced to acceptable size.
Stand By to Repel Boarders!

From: Kacper Xxx Xxxxx <xxxxx@uwo.ca>
Sent: Saturday, July 13, 2019 9:53 AM
To: 'AAL'
Cc: info@msn.com
Subject: RED
Can you handle this position account receivables agent for Lee Metal Group, its customers/client in Canada or USA.
Regards,
HR Manager


re: RED [lol it's FRED]

You, an HR Manager?
Really? Or just bought a graduate certificate from Dollar General, maybe .99¢ Store...?

My resume contains absolutely nothing that predicates such would be of interest. Feeble probes indicate skills limited to stealing contact information, definitely not screening viable candidates.
Certainly not effective interpretation of the sort of documents mentioned above.
[Toolmaker51]

There for quite awhile, I'd get propositions to proofread and multiply impact of my resume, with a $300+ fee of course. Always the same pitch, "Recruiters and HR professionals only give resumes attention a matter of seconds" before decision to retain or trash.
That suits me fine. Those who know what they are looking at have told me, it's the best resume they've ever read. No hype or wordiness, only details that can be confirmed. Liked visualizing putting 300 in the bank every time I heard that.